Have quick fixes that don’t last left you thinking you’re stuck in your old patterns for life? 

Think again—neuroscience says otherwise! 🎉

The idea that you can’t change because you’re in your 40s, 50s, or 60s is so widespread that it almost feels like a fact. 

❌   “I’m just too set in my ways to change.”

❌   “It’s my personality” 

As if your habits and negative patterns are tattooed permanently onto your chest – or even hardwired into your DNA. 🧬

And it’s no wonder you believe this myth!

After all, you’ve tried countless strategies to change your habits and patterns – only to end up right back where you started. 🤯

Maybe you’ve been on a never-ending merry-go-round of self-help books, mood food diets, meditation apps, and even a few questionable detox teas. 

And yet, nothing seems to stick. 😓

It’s like trying to build a sandcastle right next to the ocean—no matter How.Hard.You.Work, the waves keep knocking it down. 

Freakin’ frustrating, right?!

Makes you throw up your hands and shout, “This is just who I am! Get used to it!” 

But here’s the thing: those waves are your nervous system saying – no, begging! 🙏 – for a different approach.

One that goes deeper than the surface-level fixes you’ve tried before.

So, the truth is: your strategies are old and outdated, not YOU. 

They don’t make lasting changes to your brain or nervous system – where your patterns and habits are deeply planted (it’s going to take more than a few deep breaths 😮‍💨 to dig those suckers up!)

It’s like trying to patch up a leaky boat with Band-aids—no wonder it doesn’t hold! 

So you either don’t see results or the results don’t last. 

And you’re already exhausted from all the Band-aiding (yup, I’m calling that a word!)…

Of course it feels less tiring to just accept your *perceived* limitations than to keep chasing solutions that don’t stick. 

But that script you’ve been handed – “It’s just ME,” “I’m too broken,” or “It’s too late”…

It’s time to rip it up…for good! (Buh-bye! 👋👋👋)

Learn who you are. Unlearn who they taught you to be.

First – and this is very important – the struggles you face are not the real YOU…

They’re the result of a dysregulated nervous system. ⚡️

With the *right* techniques, you can peel back the layers of chronic stress and trauma to reveal your true self – underneath the ingrained reactions and learned habits. 

Imagine feeling calmer, more energetic, and genuinely happy each day. 

THAT’s the real you, just waiting to shine through.

More good news…

❌   Your nervous system isn’t a concrete structure set in stone.

In fact, it’s actually incredibly changeable—like Play-Doh!

Hmm, ok maybe more like…a beautifully complex orchestra. 

Over the years, stress, trauma, and those “not-so-fun” experiences might have thrown some instruments out of tune. 

🤓 Brain-nerd break: MRI studies now show significant differences in the patterns and activation of several key areas of the brain in people who have experienced trauma – even after decades of therapy, medication and other strategies. (Before you freak out, remember, it’s changeable!)

Let’s start with just 3 ways your very well-designed brain and nervous system may be sabotaging you:

🧠   Deeply ingrained brain patterns – Have you heard the saying “Neurons that fire together, wire together”? 

This snappy little phrase means that the more you think or feel something, the stronger that pattern in your brain becomes. 

So next time you’re in even a slightly similar situation, your brain quickly jumps to the same thought, feeling, and behavior. 

Very efficient for riding a bike 🚲 or quickly rattling off your (very complicated) order for the barista ☕️, but not so much when a small comment from your boss spirals into thinking you’re not good enough. 

Your brain is just following a well-worn path, even if it’s not a helpful one. 

🧠   Nervous system stuck in overdrive – Those firing neurons don’t just stay in your brain—they affect your entire nervous system, including your Vagus Nerve, which sends signals between your brain and major organs 🫁 🫀. 

If these signals get stuck in fight-or-flight mode, your body doesn’t get a chance to relax and reset. 

This can leave you feeling constantly on edge, struggling to sleep, dealing with poor digestion (you know what I mean…), getting frequent headaches, feeling fatigued, having muscle tension, and even catching colds more easily. (Whew! Is there anything your nervous system doesn’t affect??…Probably not.)

Your body is stuck in overdrive, and it’s exhausting. 😓

🧠   Rigid baseline set point – Once your brain gets used to a certain pattern of emotions, it compares new experiences to this familiar “set point.” 

If a new experience matches the set point, it registers as “familiar” and processes it as “comfortable” (even if it’s a stressful situation, like missing a deadline or getting yelled at). 

Here’s the kicker: when something doesn’t match this set point, even if it’s a positive outcome of a reeeeally good strategy you’ve put in place – like getting praise for smashing that presentation or achieving a hard-earned goal 👏🏼 – your brain sees it as “unfamiliar” and feels uncomfortable. 

This discomfort triggers negative reactions throughout your body (see the same laundry list of nervous system effect above 👆), making it hard for your hard work to stick because – Ugh! – why would you (or your brain & body) want to feel like THAT 👆 again. 

Designed to maintain your stability and feeling of security, this efficient system actually keeps you trapped – no wonder it feels like your efforts don’t pay off! 

But guess what? 

Your symphony isn’t over.

All it takes is a little tuning and the right kind of care, and your orchestra can play beautifully again. 💃🏽

Meet Deena. In her 50s, she believed she was too set in her ways to change. 

So, she was shocked to find that, after directing her efforts more specifically to nervous system care, she noticed her stress levels dropped, her sleep improved, and she felt more at peace. 😊

Now, Deena feels more vibrant and energetic than she did in her 20s! 

It’s never too late to rewire and fine-tune your mental orchestra.

If Deena can do it, so can you. 

(Psst! Proven so indisputably in research, neuroscientists even gave your brain’s Ahh-mazing Superpower – that it can change and form new connections and pathways throughout your life – a name: Neuroplasticity! ⚡️) 

So, myth busted!

❌  Your past doesn’t dictate your future. 

❌  You are not stuck. You are not broken. 

You are a dynamic, ever-evolving, magnificent being capable of incredible transformation. 💫

The journey to a more regulated, resilient, and joyful self is within your reach. 

You have the power to steer your life in a new direction.

Rewire not only your brain but ALL of your nervous system

So, that’s wonderful, but now that you’ve smashed the myth of being “too set in your ways” – at least intellectually – what do you do to set your brain and nervous system in a vibrant and joyful direction? 

For truly lasting change, try these three game-changing strategies.

Unlearning deeply held patterns and beliefs at the level of your nervous system – to break free for good! – requires an embodied experience. You (and, therefore, your nervous system) need to truly feel them, not just understand them at a cognitive level.

So don’t scroll on past these strategies – you need them! 

✔️   Svadhyaya (self-study): The pesky belief that “this is just who I am” can keep you stuck in a rut. And your nervous system doesn’t magically change on its own —you’ve got to give it a gentle nudge…and then keep nudging it, over and over. 

(Note: Notice I didn’t say to give it a shove! Be gentle with your nervous system or it’ll just go all fight-or-flight on you again. 🤯)

The Yogic concept of Svadhyaya, or self-study, is supremely important here. All about getting curious about yourself, think of it like being a detective in your own life. 

But not only curious about your patterns and triggers (in fact, you may already be able to give a TED talk on those). 

Here, Svadhyaya is about going deeper. 

Pausing and being curious about what you notice happening in your mind AND body – sensations of tightness or openness, tension or pain, hot or cold, tingling… 

Approach them only with curiosity, not judgment. And without trying to fix them (remember what I said above about force 👆…). 

Small but mighty – over time, this simple (but not easy) practice will have profound effects.

✔️   Everything is temporary: Ok, I know, this might sound flip – like you’re being told to “get over it” and “move on” – especially when it feels like your emotions are all-consuming and never-ending. 

And I’ve been there 🙋‍♀️ – stuck in a moment of intense stress or sadness that feels like it’s going to last forever. And then reacting as if it needs to be “fixed” RIGHT. NOW. 😱

You’re in a meeting, and your boss makes a critical comment. Suddenly, your mind is racing, your heart is pounding, and it feels like the end of the world. If you grab onto these thoughts, they spiral out of control. And after all your hard work preparing, you never get around to sharing your incredible insight with your team. 🤦🏻‍♀️

But here’s the thing: just like waves in the ocean, these feelings would wash over you and eventually recede. They might feel like a crisis in the moment, demanding immediate action, but if you sit with them, you’ll notice they start to fade. Instead of trying to fix the feeling immediately, try observing it like you would a passing cloud. It’s there, it’s intense, but it won’t last forever. 

Skeptical? (Yeah, I was at first too. And tbh, initially, I was so disconnected from the sensations in my body that it took me several tries to really be able feel this, but when I did…💃🏽)

Try it right now: sit quietly, close your eyes (or just let your gaze soften), and just get curious: observe your thoughts, feelings and sensations in your body (ooh, you’re already practicing Svadhyaya too – go you! 👏🏼). 

If you don’t latch on to them, do you notice your thoughts coming and going like clouds drifting across the sky? Or sensations in your body subtly shifting and changing? Emotions ebbing and flowing over you like the tide?

Embodying this understanding (rather than just nodding along because, of course, it makes sense when you think about it) can help you ride out your next storm without getting caught up and feeling overwhelmed, knowing that calmer waters are ahead.  

Imagine feeling stressed about a deadline, then taking a quick moment to get curious about what’s happening in your body and mind, and using your observations to remind yourself that the stress will pass. 😮‍💨

Suddenly it doesn’t feel so overwhelming.

➡️  Note: you’ll need to practice this often when you’re not in a heated moment before it’ll be successful when you truly need it. So get started today, just a few minutes to observe. 

✔️   Regulate your nervous system: Now let’s give your nervous system a spa day! Except the effects won’t disappear – pouf! 💨 – into thin air the minute you walk in the door to a sink overflowing with dishes (wasn’t it empty when you left?) and kids covered in a rainbow of paint (where did they find that? Is it non-toxic at least?!). 

Oh, and no need to take a whole day (do you have time for that? I know I don’t) – these can be done in just 10-20 minutes a day (and remember, you won’t do them forever, just long enough to get your nervous system regulated again – everything is temporary 😉). 

Here are the 3 best ways to give your nervous system a high-tech instrument tune-up, helping to recalibrate everything (Research backs these up: there are now hundreds – cumulatively thousands – of studies linking these practices to improvements in nervous system function and flexibility):

🧘‍♂️   Restorative Yoga: this is not exercise (in fact, you don’t even need a “mat” or fancy accessories. It’s all done on the floor, with lots of blankets or cushions – ahhh, my shoulders are softening just typing this…☺️). And it’s not about stretching—it’s about putting your body in a shape, with lots of supports that allow for a fully embodied feeling of safety, that encourages it to naturally release old, dysfunctional patterns and bring your nervous system back to homeostasis. Feel the tension melt away. 

💗   HRV (heart rate variability) coherence training helps you sync your heart and brain, promoting calmness and resilience (Note: this is not the same as the basic training that simply increases your HRV). HRV coherence training has been linked to better emotional regulation and reduced stress (and ALL the benefits of nervous system regulation – again, see the loooong list of effects above 👆). 

🧠   Neurofeedback (EEG biofeedback) trains your brain to operate more efficiently and flexibly by altering your brain wave frequency patterns, helping to reduce anxiety, improve emotion regulation and improve focus. When your brain is able to take in information in a calm, organized manner and the signals from your brain are no longer shouting “Danger!” 😱, the rest of your organs will also get calm and organized messages (your gut will thank you! 🙏). 

Ok, this might seem like waaaay too much to do – especially when you feel like you’ve wasted so much time in the past on strategies that didn’t do any good long-term.

Start with just 1 strategy – I suggest Svadhyaya (because it’s going to help make all the others more effective too).

Then try adding on: For example, practice self-awareness while enjoying Restorative Yoga, or HRV coherence training.

And, most importantly, keep reminding yourself…

THIS time after all your hard work – that will feel *ahhh-mazing* while you’re doing it – when your nervous system has gone from out-of-sync to powerfully regulated, your system will keep it going naturally. 💃🏽

Because it’s your new baseline set point.

And remember what your brain does with a set point – it clings to it like a toddler to your leg. 😎

A little work up front is all you need to send your nervous system in a new, fully adaptable direction – hello joy!

So, here’s the lowdown: the myth that you can’t change in your 40s, 50s, or 60s is just that—a myth. Your struggles and ingrained patterns aren’t set in stone; they’re the result of a dysregulated nervous system. 

By combining Svadhyaya (to build self-awareness) with consistent embodied experiences of the impermanence of your thoughts and emotions, and adding on powerful techniques like Restorative Yoga, HRV coherence training, and Neurofeedback, you can give your brain, body and the rest of your nervous system a high-level, deep tissue tune-up.

YOU have the power to upgrade your mental and emotional software to a more resilient, joyful version. One that will last. 🎉

If Deena could do it, so can you. 

So, get curious, embrace change, and give your nervous system the re-tuning it needs. 

➡️   Ready to take the next step and become your very own Nervous System Whisperer but don’t know where to start? 

I’ve got just the thing for you! 

Get the only Nervous System Self-Screener…FREE. 

This tool will help you understand your current nervous system state and how it might be contributing to the challenges you’re facing – guiding you toward a life where calm, joy, and confidence flow naturally from within. 

Start your journey toward lasting transformation today—you deserve to thrive and live fully. 💫